Sunday, April 22, 2007

How Do You Feel?

How do you feel, Kendra? Tomorrow you start your new job.

I looked back at Tim at our table at Gigi's. How do I feel? I feel a lot of ways about a lot of things, but how exactly I feel about starting a new job is harder to put my finger on.

How do I feel?...

I feel sunburned. After doing some cleaning around the house this morning and running errands, Tim and I joined the crush of cars from God-knows-where in search of a green patch of grass on which to have a picnic and play some games of frisbee and the "velcro-mit-ball" game. [This is the game where there are circles with velcro and a ball that sticks to velcro and two people throw the ball back and forth and catch it on the circle thing.] More about the ten years it took to locate the aforementioned patch of grass and parking later, but as for the activities themselves, they were fun. Despite the fact that we both applied 30 SPF sunscreen, I still have a red face and arms. So, now I have that first sunburn of summer sleepiness and headache.

I feel frustrated. I am getting more and more frustrated about living in the city or possibly just this city... I'm not sure which exactly. We pay wage tax, high car insurance, mortgage, condo fees, etc. like pretty much every other resident of the city. Then when the time comes to try to take advantage of the city parks or some other city service on a nice day, the resources are overrun with people, and the parks are littered and messy. It is sad, particularly, on this Earth Day weekend, that people don't take more pride in their surroundings, and I definitely can see why people tire of living here after awhile. Everytime I see people (and this happens a lot) purposely throwing trash on the ground, I feel like screaming, whereas I used to at least attempt to take it in stride. At the same time, there are many things we do love about Philadelphia, and we are conflicted about moving. We have been debating the decision especially since I got the job in Kennett Square. We could move in that direction and both have shorter commutes to work and a lot less of a headache. I could probably write a novel on this topic, so I'll move on for now.

I feel like the owner of a car again. For the first time in about 5 years, we have two cars, since we both commute now. I got a used Saturn Ion a few weeks ago, and so far I love it! The car's name is Storm. I finally got my parking permit in the mail, so I have more parking options. It was a pain for awhile, having to go out ever 2 hours during the day when all the permit spots were taken up.

About my new job, I guess the best way to put it is that I feel we are definitely starting in on a new phase of our lives, and I am not exactly sure what that will entail. We'll have to find out as we go along. For a planner like me, that is always a little scary, so I am anxious. I'm also nervous about starting something totally new after 8 years at Accenture and having to prove myself all over again and get to know new people. It will be very odd to commute almost an hour each way rather than walk across the street to the client site from whatever hotel I happened to be staying at that day/week/month/year. I have rarely known what it is like to not fly somewhere every week, so I honestly don't know what to expect or how I'll feel along the way. I'll be in training for awhile, so I'll have some time to sort out my reactions and feelings more.

Despite all this, overall, I am optimistic. I'm confident that I made the right decision in leaving and finding a new job without constant travel requirements. I am also confident in the company I'm going to. After the long interview process, I am confident it is a great company and the people have a great deal of integrity. They care about their employees, and I feel I'll be a good fit.

At least I've gotten a much needed break from working so much, and I've been able to relax and see my friends and family during the last few months. So...we'll see how it all goes!

(This weekend we did some other Philly exploring...we took a bus over to the University City Section to stop by yard sale put on by one of my co-workers who's moving out to move in with his girlfriend...we had a great lunch at Rx and then did some clothes shopping on Chestnut St. Saturday night we drive down to New Castle, Delaware to hang out with some other IMS folk. Good times had by all...especially now that we've seen the sun for 3 days straight!!!- Tim)


At 9:07 PM, Blogger Dad said...

I think you made a great decision! Yes, there will be (many) moments when you wonder, particularly when challenges and disappointments come along. And they always do - but they were always there before anyway. We just commit with you to this next stage of the Journey.


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